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Two couples were playing poker one evening. Tim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Les's wife, Jane wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Tim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.



Later, Tim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Les's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?'



Surprised by her boldness, Tim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.'

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Tim confirms that he is interested. Sue told him that since her husband Les played golf Friday afternoons and Tim didn't, Tim should be at her house around 2 PM Friday afternoon.



When Friday rolled around, Tim showed up at Les's house at 2 PM sharp and after paying Jane the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom, and closed their transaction, as agreed.

Tim quickly dressed and left. As usual, Les came home from golf at 6 pm. And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Tim come by the house this afternoon?'

With a lump in her throat Jane answered Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?'



Jane, using her best poker face, replied, Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500. Les, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'



Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player .....

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krissykbee
00:13 Dec 31 2012

lol i needed that! :)

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sahahria
11:56 Dec 31 2012

o.o



OMG HAHAHAHA!

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Anann
04:57 Jan 05 2013

Hehehe, I love it!

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The Xmas Joke



It was a romantic full moon when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" , said Rosita.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.", replied Rosita.

"Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year !"

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deathnitegrl
16:20 Dec 26 2012

wahahaha!

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I'm not one to get involved in the politics of another country, hell I don't even bother too much with our own politics.

That said, I just don’t get it. Maybe because I’ve grown up and am living in a country where guns are banned.

Our police don’t even carry guns (in general) and gun licenses are harder to obtain than a kiss from the queen.

Wake up America, I have got my head around ‘The Amendment’ pertaining to this subject but can’t fathom for the life of me why it has to be made complicated and inaccessible to change.

Change is good, without change we wouldn’t have butterflies.

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Lullaby
02:11 Dec 19 2012

I am with you entirely. When I hear that "we NEED guns" - I am totally swamped. I just don't get it. The circular logic hurts my brain.

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deathnitegrl
16:52 Dec 19 2012

Same in Malta but I dont know abouth the police.

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krissykbee
00:16 Dec 20 2012

I wish they would outlaw guns here it makes me sick how many people have guns its no wonder these things happen. But they will never ban them all together but I hope Obama does somthing to make it harder to have oned!

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REALLY? Really? Never again! I’m a bit OCD so when I wrap presents I can be a tad meticulous. That said, I will never buy a round Xmas present again. Ever. I’m wrapping it and it looks like a pigs ear and that’s my fourth attempt. They need to standardise these things and put them in square boxes!

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tr1n1ty01
17:17 Dec 14 2012

I am the same way with wrapping :)

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Lullaby
21:38 Dec 14 2012

Hahahah ♥

I can't even wrap square things. :(



Try cellophane for round gifts? That way you can use Christmas-y ribbons and tags for it, and red/green cellophane, and it'll still be pretty looking. :)

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Isis101
20:58 Dec 16 2012

LOL!

Round items are a bit difficult to wrap...and I'm a meticulous wrapper myself.

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xxEmaeraldxx
22:47 Dec 16 2012

I make round items look like a football in a christmas cracker!

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krissykbee
11:27 Dec 17 2012

Thats when u get a pretty bag with tissue paper and a great bow just as nice without paper fitting the right shape lol.

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MysticMoon
23:49 Dec 17 2012

i have a whole ton needs done if ur looking for practice :)

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Tomorrow will see all my friends together in one place. Every year we arrange an ''office Xmas dinner" even thou none of us work together and most are self employed, so they have no colleagues as such. So not to be outdone every year we arrange a festive meal at a pub/club or restaurant. We've been doing this for over 20 years now and although we have lost some friends on the way and new ones and spouses have come onboard this tradition is as strong as ever.

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xxEmaeraldxx
22:48 Dec 16 2012

I hope y'all had a good ole time.. ho ho ho!

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So I thought it was cold yesterday. This morning put paid to that notion and I had to capture this little gem as I’d never seen anything like it before. They were in fact all over the place but I decided to get the phone out to snap them and complete my task of having made a post on the 12th/12th/12th. They are frozen cobwebs, something that would have gone unnoticed normally.

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TheArtistRose
13:36 Dec 12 2012

Nature can be so pretty. :)

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TheNewPower
14:10 Dec 12 2012

Wonderful pics :) .... I know the feeling 'twas -6 when I woke this morning & my .... erm .... cobwebs were frozen too ;)

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Seshat
14:34 Dec 12 2012

So pretty!

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xxEmaeraldxx
15:26 Dec 12 2012

Extraordinary indeed Steve :)

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ladybriarrose
16:48 Dec 12 2012

beautiful...looks like crocheted lace like my mother used to make a long time ago

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krissykbee
21:47 Dec 13 2012

That is so cool im going to look for those now!

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tr1n1ty01
17:16 Dec 14 2012

Very cool!

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Isis101
21:00 Dec 16 2012

Cobwebs? No...spiderwebs! And they are lil' pieces of art!

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It's around 7.30am as I type this and look out the window the roofs of the houses are covered in frost. The forest beyond has a misty look to it and I know it's bloody cold out there. But it looks so still, so peaceful.

Soon I will be out there with the hordes, pounding the pavement. As long as I wrap up warm with scarf, hat and gloves and of course the MP3 player in my ear, life will be good.

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xxEmaeraldxx
22:54 Dec 11 2012

That be a strexy start to a frosty day! Invigorating :)

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Isis101
21:02 Dec 16 2012

Doesn't seem eerie to me...it seems happy due to the holiday hustle and bustle!

Bundling up and having hot cocoa while rushing about can be fun!

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Yes that’s me with the Chanuka menorah in the background. I was given the honour to light today’s candles.

There seems to be many ways to spell the word חֲנֻכָּה, or Chanukah, Chanukkah or Chanuka or even Hanukkah and in the same vain the miracle and story about The Festival of Light seems to have many different variants.

As old as I am today I heard a new one that makes sense to me and one day I will share it in this journal. Meanwhile it’s the third day so on with the celebrations.

...and no I don't have balloons growing out my head!

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tr1n1ty01
21:31 Dec 10 2012

Great picture Steve!

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Vampirewitch39
22:32 Dec 10 2012

:) Happy Hanukkah

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krissykbee
02:13 Dec 11 2012

Nice Happy Hanukkah!

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Isis101
04:29 Dec 11 2012

Nice!

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TheArtistRose
11:26 Dec 11 2012

Those balloons match your outfit. :P

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xxEmaeraldxx
22:55 Dec 11 2012

Hope you had a good day S :)

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Where would Hanukkah be without a good clean joke?





Little Yossi and his family were having dinner at his bubbe's house.



When everyone was seated, the food was served. As soon as little Yossi got his plate, he started eating from it right away.

"Yossi, please wait until we say our prayer," said his father.

"I don't have to," Yossi replied.

"Of course you have to," said his mother. "Don't we always say a prayer before eating at our house?"

"Yes, but that's our house," Yossi explained. "This is bubbe's house and she knows how to cook."

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TheArtistRose
16:19 Dec 10 2012

LOLOL I love that.

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Iholdmybreathe
18:58 Dec 10 2012

lol

^_^

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Isis101
04:30 Dec 11 2012

LOl! Love it! Give that kid a dreidel!

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Isis101
04:30 Dec 11 2012

LOl! Love it! Give that kid a dreidel!

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This is such a great idea. I love this season.

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TheArtistRose
14:09 Dec 06 2012

Looks like a nice time for anyone. :P

I'm going to a few Chanukah parties myself next week. :)



Hope your celebration is a good one!

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krissykbee
00:12 Dec 08 2012

Looks like fun!

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The Twilight Saga, New Moon, the sequel, what can I say. I really want to say nice things about it but…

Bella is one mixed up kid, and what’s Edward up to? I thought it was crap, but that said I guess the third one must now be watched too. I didn’t really like the first one and everyone said I should read the book as it’s so much better. Well that wouldn’t be to hard. I think I will stay with the seasonal films on the run up to Xmas.

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tr1n1ty01
01:23 Dec 04 2012

Can't say I won't watch it, but will definitely wait until it hits cable. LOL

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Charmed
01:34 Dec 04 2012

It gets better, Breaking Dawn Part 2 is the best out of all of them. But that's just my opinion. :)

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krissykbee
04:11 Dec 04 2012

I loved the book way better then the movies get the book on tape and listen to it atleast here you can check them out at the library if your watching the movies the very last one breaking dawn 2 is the best!

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PandorasBx
14:06 Dec 06 2012

Yep, books are immensely better.

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sahahria
02:32 Dec 07 2012

Most of my guy friends can't stand the books or the movies. The exception being the last movie as while they follow the book, they take many more Hollywood liberties that actually make it more "eventful" (not going to spoil it).



That said, the second book... well, I still have not completed it. I effing wanted to backhand Bella for being a whiny driveling snot nosed brat. Granted I did skim the book so I got the majority of it, but I could NOT read it. Stephanie Meyers is nothing like JKRowling who actually improved her writing abilities through the process of the Harry Potter books. Meyers is what I call "eye candy" kind of writer, fun pleasure reading that isn't too difficult, and in a word fluff.



So if you're not the romantic type (think notebook) then don't torturer yourself- just watch the movies. If you think "hmmm that was ok, but could have been more" then read the books as you will get that.



Good luck with one of the most controversial series there is :P



Go Team Edward! lol couldn't resist

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The Muppets Christmas Carol and the original Miracle on 34th Street fell victim to my seasonal appetite this weekend. I also see the remake is on the cards for tomorrow of Miracle on 34th Street, I really love them both so I will record that. Let the season begin.

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krissykbee
20:54 Dec 02 2012

love those movies especially the original!

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xxEmaeraldxx
22:42 Dec 02 2012

Yes, I love the kindness of people at Christmas :)

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Isis101
23:56 Dec 02 2012

I agree! Although I have no plans for Xmas, I still love the movies and the holiday sights and sounds all around!

I even have enough room in my apartment for a tree! LOL!

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Seshat
11:19 Dec 04 2012

We just watched Disney's version of A Christmas Carol. Nothing beats Christmas movies.

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